


Winter Jealousy

by Imiaslavie



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (angst-y), (minor panic attack), Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fear of Abandonment, Hurt/Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Panic Attacks, Roman and Remus still brothers, Spiraling Thoughts, feeling hopeless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 21:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20234770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imiaslavie/pseuds/Imiaslavie
Summary: Dee’s hand comes to hover near his face, and then — making Remus hold his breath and his heart skip a beat — a finger brushes against his moustache.“You have sugar there,” Dee says, calmly. “And you only eat sweet things,sugaredthings when you feel awful.”Or,Human AU in which Remus is always afraid people will stop liking him after meeting his much better brother. After Roman and Deceit, whom Remus is very much in love with, finally meet, Remus hides away. But not for long…





	Winter Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Remus' thoughts might be a bit intense, jumping all around, so keep that in mind if you're easily affected by what you read.

Remus knows he couldn’t hide forever. No, technically, he could pack, hop on a bus and ran away, maybe hitchhike a bit, fight for his life when drivers would turn out to be serial killers… That is an option. But probably not the best one.

The delicate knocking on the door makes chills creep up his spine. He shivers. It would be better if the person behind the door banged at it like an animal. But it just so happens that the person is Dee, and he is as delicate as they come… the deadly dangerous kind of delicate.

Remus opens the door because he hates the sound of knocking. Also because it’s cold as fuck outside, and he can’t let Dee freeze out there.

Dee frowns at him, stepping inside, his gloved fingers nagging at his scarf. Remus bites on his lower lip. Great. Amazing. Splendid. Scrumptious. Wait, no, that’s not the right word… What even was he… Ah. The lecture. Amazing. Without screaming, quite probably, which is far worse. Politeness makes Remus’ skin crawl.

“So,” Dee says, letting the scarf fall from his fingers onto the low table. He starts unbuttoning his coat, and any other time Remus would be delighted to see him getting cosy, but not now. “Care to explain why you skipped our dinner yesterday and then proceeded to ignore my calls?”

Remus imagines beating his head into a wall, three forceful times, and gives Dee a wide saccharin smile. “No.”

Dee crooks his mouth, the scar trailing from the corner across the cheek standing out even more now.

“Very well. Should I assume that everything is fine with you, between us, and you just forgot?”

It’s a trap within a trap within a trap, and Remus is already both feet into it, and he has nothing else to do.

“Yup!”

Dee hums, taking off his hat and gloves. His hair is ruffled after the hat, and Remus oh-so-very wants to card his fingers through it.

He watches, a smile — he hopes is more dreamy than feral — playing on his lips, as Dee comes closer. Is he taller than usual? Are Remus’ eyes going bad? Ah, well, if he’s going blind, he better enjoy the sight of his love’s beautiful face. Not that he would have a chance to do so even if he wasn’t going blind, ha!

Dee’s hand comes to hover near his face, and then — making Remus hold his breath and his heart skip a beat — a finger brushes against his moustache.

“You have sugar there,” Dee says, calmly. “And you only eat sweet things, _sugared_ things when you feel awful.”

Things that Remus loves Dee for: he is incredibly smart. Things that Remus hates Dee for: _he is incredibly smart_.

Fear rushes through Remus as he feels the familiar pressure of the upcoming tears behind his eyes. Fuck, no-no-no-no-no! He bites his lip, harder than the last time, afraid to let out a betraying gasp.

But should he stay silent? There’s so much he wants to say, so many things he was silent about, no one would ever guess how much he hides, not with how incessantly he already talks, people absolutely hate him talk and chatter and never-shutting-up and—

“Hey, hey,” Dee says in a hasty whisper, his palms coming to lie down over Remus’ chest. “Slow down. Listen to my voice. Concentrate on it. Let go of whatever you are thinking. Breathe. I will breathe with you.”

There’s a soft sound of fabric, and more warmth against him, and Remus hears Dee’s measured breathing somewhere the side of his right ear, he hears but not sees because he closed his eyes, because they stung, because— In. Out. In. Out. Dee breathes, slow and steady, making sure not to let his breath touch Remus’ skin because he knows Remus hates feeling breath against his skin. Dee knows a lot of things about him, and Remus is never going to find anyone like that again, and—

“I don’t want you to leave me,” he sobs, whiny and ugly, blinking the tears out of his eyes.

Dee’s breathing rhythm stutters for a moment. “And I’m not going to.”

Remus shakes his head, small, jerky motions. “You will. Everyone does. Everyone who meets Roman does. You liked him too, just like everyone. People see him and they choose him.” He sobs again, sniffling. “I couldn’t stand watching you like him.”

Dee’s hands grip the fabric of Remus’ shirt tighter and then let go, and Dee moves away too, away, away, forever—

Remus startles at the sensation of a soft fabric brushing against his face. It’s a bit silky, just a tiny bit, and smells crispy-clean. It wipes the tears from under his eyes and from his cheeks and even rubs under his nose, making him let out a stupid giggle.

With a sudden wave of strength rushing through him, he opens his eyes — and meets Dee’s gaze, calm and… also with something that…

Remus doesn’t have a chance to decipher that _something_ because Dee closes his eyes — and then Remus is being kissed. It’s an almost-there touch of lips against his, and he can feel the texture of Dee’s scar against his cheek, and the faint smell of something fruity…

The kiss is over faster than Remus’ thoughts manage to spiral into an endless list of guesses about which fruit it is. He and Dee look at each other again, and he finally sees that maybe, possibly, hopefully that _something_ from earlier in the way he is being looked at is _softness_.

“I do like your brother. But I don’t like him more than you. And definitely not this way.”

A thin, “Really?” escapes Remus mouth before he can stop it. And Dee smiles at him, that precious, subtle but honest smile, and nods.

Heat colors Remus’ face and ears red, making them burn. Giggling starts at his throat, and he lets it out, it tickling his mouth and reverberating in his head in small prickly waves of delight. He throws his arms around Dee, and lets his fingers finally touch his hair — oh yes, he’s been itching and twitching to do it — and he breathes in the smell of winter and wet wool and green apples (he’s absolutely sure they’re green), and he laughs when thin but strong arms hug him back.

To hell with everyone who ever left him. They don't matter. The most important person has chosen _him_, and that's all he gives a damn about.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Remus is so easy, freeing and refreshing! Haven't had that much joy writing a character's thoughts in quite a while.


End file.
